Well that game happened.
And it happened exactly as we all predicted it would. Exactly.
The Rangers pranked us by turning Lincecum's calendar pages back to August, and he didn't realize it was a prank until after the 2nd inning. Whatever jokester on the Rangers that pulled this prank must've been dying as Timmy fielded out #2 and then goofily started at Michael Young while he ran back to 3rd. Even August Lincecum was like, "Whoa, I'm gonna get blamed for that one."
But what was awesome was once Lincecum noticed the Rangers had flipped his calendar back to August, he sent Eugenio Velez up through the AT&T Park air ducts to sneak into the Rangers clubhouse, and flip CLIFF LEE'S calendar back to August. You see, Timmy wasn't the only one having a crummy August, as Cliff Lee spent his summer getting knocked around by the Rays, Twins, Orioles, and Royals.
And our prank won. Lee ended up hitting Andres Torres, which made sense since Lee hit a whopping ONE BATTER over the course of the 2010 regular and postseason, so of course he hit Andres Torres.
Freddy Sanchez was clearly filming Speed 3: Legging It Out, with the plot being that Freddy Sanchez has to keep hitting doubles or else the terrorists win (potential taglines: "Double the action!" "Double the Suspense!" "Tying David Eckstein and Trot Nixon's Record for Most Doubles in a World Series Game!").
Renteria looked like an honest to gosh Major League Shortstop in the 4th inning, running WAY up the middle and getting the out with slick spinning throw. He also caused Michael Young to play below-average defense...ahem.
Juan Uribe decided once home run to RF was enough, and made the choice to just continue blasting them into the 12th row of LF.
And who could have predicted that playing Vladimir Guerrero in RF was a bad idea? Let me be the very very first person to say that Vlad should probably just be used as a DH these days. I know he had a cannon arm in 2002, but now he has mortal arm and moves about as quickly as 2010 Willie McCovey. For all my griping about Bochy playing Jose Guillen over Cody Ross during the regular season, I'm sure there's a Rangers fan somewhere with a David Murphy blog that is losing his mind after last night.
And how awful was it seeing Bengie Molina "sprint" home on that sac fly? There was so much movement and bouncing and jostling under his shirt it looked like two ferrets fighting in a duffel bag.
What the hell happened in that game? 6 pitchers used in a game that you score 11 runs? What the hell?
Since everybody expected everything that happened last night to happen, let me give my Game 2 predictions:
~Matt Cain won't give up any fly balls
~Pablo Sandoval will start despite Renteria's one productive inning
~Buck/McCarver won't sound like Fox is just recording them saying "baseball-y" stuff for a new video game
3 more wins.
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